That magpie out in the garden there,
he’s as strong and fast and sharp as you.
He’d kill you. You know that, right?

He’d peck out your eyes,
rip open your belly with his talons,
and dive bomb you to obliteration.
You know that, right?

He’s every bit as strong and fast and sharp as you,
my pretty little kitty.
You wouldn’t stand a chance.

But he’ll always keep his distance,
and he will never start anything with you.
So, pay attention to his warning clicks and whistles,
to the cracking whacking of his black beak,
and be a sensible little kitty, yeah.

Stay well away.

Because he’ll be sure to end you 
if you start on him, 
even if it ends him too.

Chatter from a distance if you must, 
little kitty.
Hiss and scream behind his back if you like.
Stretch and flex those fearsome claws.
Scratch and bite the fence.
Bare your teeth.
Raise your haunches. 
Stare him down.

But never make a move on him.

He’s as strong and fast and sharp as you.
You wouldn’t stand a chance, little kitty.
Just leave him be.