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Reciprocity Masks Selfishness

On the face of it, reciprocity seems like a good thing. Get back what you give, or the connection is unfair. And I suppose that’s true. But, that dynamic can become a struggle between people, too.

So I’m suggesting something radical.

I’m suggesting we all give. All of us. Freely. All the time. Without exception. To anyone.

I know. Crazy, right. Sounds like people pleasing. Sounds unsustainable. Sounds like you’d be exploited.


Think about it…

Just a little…

If EVERYONE was willing and free to give whatever they could (in terms of things, skills, time, knowledge, etc.) to ANYONE…

If we ALL gave to anyone, easily and freely.

ALL of us. ALL the time.

Then what?

In that world, where everyone is always willing to give to anyone, reciprocity is either a non-thing (because everyone is getting what they need so they sense no missing out and have no cause for unfair feelings, and therefore nothing to trigger their need for equal returns) or reciprocity occurs naturally in that….if you ask for something you need you will be able to get it because everyone out there is willing to give anything they can to anyone. Or both. Or…these two are the same thing said in different ways.

And, talking of reciprocity happening naturally…to be honest, in nature, reciprocity is precisely what everything does…it’s the whole cycle thing.

But, while some people need their giving returned to them equally by the very person/people/being/entity they gave to (and especially where that equality of return is defined by their personal and subjective view of the value of the “…” received in exchange for the “…” they gave), we will continue to have a situation where some get everything they want, some don’t, some give, some don’t, some feel guilty for giving, some feel guilty for not giving, some feel guilty for taking more than they feel they should, some feel guilty for not taking enough to share with others…etc.

By expecting direct and measurable reciprocity from those we give to, we cut off the natural cycle of giving between all humans, and strike a huge blow for us collectively and consistently joining in with – or even perceiving the relevance of – the reciprocal cycles of all of nature.

If everyone gives to everyone who asks, no one will feel left out. But if people only give to those from whom they’ve received something, and they also control those exchanges so they give and receive things they feel are of equal value to what they received and gave, then all kinds of people will feel left out and/or unsatisfied for so many different reasons.

We explored this whole idea, and a hell of a lot more, in the world’s first Facebook play (a groundbreaking, global performance that re-imagines theatre for the digital age)…

Please and join us, we’d love to have you play along with all of us…

Join in! 👉

Find out more 👉

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